Murder at the Retirement Community: read Act I free (PDF, opens in a new tab)

Murder at the Retirement Community

A tour of the grounds. A body in the garden.

8 actors5 male3 female
  • Single set
  • Full length, two acts
  • Dinner-theatre ready
Content level: Light

Feisty residents behaving badly: salty language, Viagra jokes, and plenty of pill humor. Language and some references can be adjusted. Read the full content guide.

The sample includes the full cast list, staging notes, and the entire first act.

The story

A son brings his father to tour a retirement community and gets far more than a sales pitch. One of the residents turns up dead, and the residents and staff have to solve it before one of them becomes the next victim.

An ex-mobster, a former actress with a raspy voice, a resident running a black market out of his trench coat, and an ex-detective nobody takes seriously. The residents are the sharpest people in the room, and the comedy is built around them rather than at their expense.

What a song and not even a whole cake? Where are the musicians? The booze? The strippers?!

Otto, retired mobster

The characters

  • Hank Miller M, 65 to 80An old curmudgeon who begrudgingly looks after his wife. Easily annoyed, quick to lose his temper.
  • Myrtle Miller F, 65 to 80Hank's wife. Appears to have memory issues, and carries a stuffed cat she believes is real.
  • Emma Jones F, 25 to 40A giddy, upbeat staff member who does her job with a smile, even when she's stressed.
  • Otto Smith M, 65 to 80An ex-mobster laying low in retirement who still thinks he's top dog.
  • Aaron Davis M, 30 to 45A busy son, very motivated to find his father a forever home.
  • Gordon Davis M, 65 to 80Aaron's father. An underestimated ex-detective: sharp, sarcastic, and fiercely independent.
  • Chester Anderson M, 65 to 80Humorous and sleazy. He'll do anything for a quick buck.
  • Hazel Baker F, 65 to 80A former actress and a bit of a flirt, with a raspy voice and an over-the-top manner.

Production at a glance

Cast8 actors5 male3 femaleSeveral of the older roles can be played by younger actors.
SetSingle interior: a common room, main hall, or garden.
CostumesContemporary, with walkers, a trench coat full of contraband, and one stuffed cat.
Best forSenior living and life-enrichment programs, community theatres, and adult library programming.

What's in the script

  • Props notes included, down to how to build a stuffed cat with a hidden compartment
  • Pre-show ideas: staff wheel guests to their seats, residents greet and tease the audience
  • Originally staged as dinner theatre, and adaptable to a traditional stage
  • Optional in-character mingling before the show and at intermission
  • Intermission guessing game: audiences submit their suspect for a prize drawing

Content guide

Feisty residents behaving badly: salty language, Viagra jokes, and plenty of pill humor. Written for adult audiences and not suitable for children's, youth, or school productions. This guide is spoiler-free.

Adjustable. Language and some references can be adjusted for your audience. Ask before you license and Josh will tell you what's possible.

CategoryLevelWhat to expect
LanguageLevel: LightFrequent "damn" and "hell"; several uses of "sh*t," "b*tch," and "bastard." No F-words.
Suggestive humorLevel: LightFlirting, infidelity, and "little blue pill" jokes. A trench-coat "flash" reveals contraband, not nudity.
Comedic violenceLevel: LightA poisoning death and slapstick with walkers.
Drinking & substancesLevel: LightMedication humor throughout, including a resident dealing pills on the side.
Bathroom humorLevel: LightA few bathroom jokes.
ThemesHeads-upComedy about aging, memory, and life in assisted living.
Audience interactionHeads-upOptional pre-show mingling, where residents flirt with and tease guests.